Oh, eyebrows.

My eyebrows look ridiculous. And that's saying something. Because they are the only hairs on my head that are currently all the same color. I have a cornucopia of color growing out of my scalp. (I almost said skull, but that would be biologically and common-sensically inaccurate.)

like the Dickens

Internet, you shall be the receiver for my many complaints, because it would be unbecoming of me to unload on an actual human.

Today, I fell down the (I don't care what you say, they are NOT spiral) stairs, through no fault of my own, for no good reason (to retrieve JUNK mail), and it is rather inconvenient for me.
As a consolation for myself, I have decided to do absolutely FRAGGING nothing for the rest of the day. It shall be lovely.

Rule: College is the last time in your life where you can do as much or, more importantly, as little as humanly possible, depending on your own mood. Intend to take advantage of this fact, or regret it for the rest of your life. Due to the fact that there are TWO opportunities, you will realistically regret whichever one you choose. (To cater to my own personality and desires, not at all my own worth or needs, I have chosen the latter personality, and have filled my semester with absolutely nothing but worrying about money and procrastinating assignments and watching SHOOTloads of television online.

Also, on another, but sort of related note-
Pain is UN-American! Pain traps you in that one spot that you feel that you may not die, and if you move at all, you are punished severely. Cruel AND all-too usual. Evil. Evil evil evil. Pain sucks.

With that, I only have one other thing to say:
Owwww.

(whiney noises)

Nothing.

That's what I've got right now. My eyebrows are too tired for the rest of my face to move.

Lazy, hazy, crazy days of SPRING

While trying to figure out what exactly Lorelai said to do to get the song out of her head (which I did NOT successfully find, but it had something to do with getting another song stuck in your head like the unhearit.com philosophy), I found this quote from the same episode.

"I got here early and there was nothing to do except feed gummy bears to the bomb-sniffing dogs which, apparently, the United States government frowns upon."


Silly government. I thought both references were relevant. Number one, because the government can be very silly. Number two, because spring break is coming up really soon, and I am too lazy to think of something original right now. So I am going to repost this picture in the spirit of Gilmore Girls.

I like it. Mainly just because my mom, from what she tells me, thinks I am one GENIUS donkey. For sure. Fer sherrrr. RRRR. Apparently, I'm also a pirate!

bad llama!

Then, after the old man threw off the emperor Cusco's groove, he was thrown out of the palace. Then Cusco was a llama until he learned to work together with people and not be bossy. Despite my great love for this hilarious movie, I did not learn my lesson. Why?

Rule: Oranges are too fragrant for normal meal times, and shouldn't be peeled in the presence of such meal times. The one time that they are appropriate is in a square package with a stylized 'S' on it that represents a certain juicy contradiction. Even then, not that great.

So I had to tell my darling roommate to remove her orange eating face from my presence. 

But then I got compared to Regina George, so then I had to say that John Stamos has commented on MY beauty, just like Regina, and everything was all better. Not quite being strapped to a log with a guy in a poncho, to be rushed off a waterfall with a sharp drop and rocks at the bottom, but close enough.

Let's see, what else?

I watched "Fargo" last night, instead of sleeping. 

It's won Oscar's, I don't NEED to point out the good, but just to establish a pattern, I will.

Silver lining: I really enjoyed the lack of epilogue. It clearly established that they knew exactly what they were doing. They just let it end. Very nice. It was paced really interestingly. I was an hour in, and it seemed like nothing consequential had happened yet, but since I hadn't noticed that an hour had passed, it was just a weird time warpy thing that was very enjoyable. I'd probably watch it again to listen to the soundtrack-which was peppy and yet somber (but that's what I remember from 2 AM, so who knows) and would make for an interesting analysis of this "TRUE STORY." 

I don't know what else, and I think I am too tired to care. Jolly good.

songs on the side

I put "Lady In Spain" over there, because it is currently my favorite song. I like it. I like it a lot. Anyhow, I think up of a list of music for when I commit to getting an MP3 player that I won't lose. I'm thinking one of these cheap versions called a Zen. It seems alright. So, here I go...

• Ingrid Michaelson, obviously
• Regina Specktor, also obviously, but I already have a lot of hers that I like
• Some Beatles, but none of that unpopular artistic stuff-that is NOT the point of listening to older music. It's all about recognizing it.
• So on that note- The Temptations and and Queen and The Four Seasons and "Love Train" by the O'Jays and "Build Me Up Buttercup" and "Come On (Ilene)" and "The Longest Time," stuff that mom would blast BLAST on Saturdays while we (she) cleaned like idunno... Rush? or Joni Mitchell? 
• By the way, idunno is an official word
• Reminder- talk about the universal amazingness of "Love Train" on commercials
• Iron and Wine, but maybe just the Boy With The Coin video because you know the flamenco is the best part
• Tegan and Sara
• MGMT- Electric Feel and Time to Pretend
• That one Modest Mouse song is (Dashboard/Float On)- I have so many songs that remind me of summer driving including some Joanna Newsom (not too much, it's too calm most of the time)
• A touch of Noah and the Whale
• Scala's Creep, because it's just SO creepy
• I need to reference Grey's Anatomy, because I feel like I'm forgetting someone
• GLEE for the classics
• Mary Poppins? Glee should have Wicked and Singin' In the Rain all tied up, but remember those too
• Ghosts: Band of Horses- Is There A Ghost; Stars- Dead Hearts
• She and Him! But don't go crazy, because again too much of it drives you nuts because it's so calm
• Some Kate Nash, some Juno soundtrack
• RA RA RIOT! You have your faves, but still.  Too Dramatic was just perfect for the credits
• Florence and the Machine which mainly serves to remind me of Adele, she's pretty great
• (to be continued... I'll do some Pandora research and add stuff on...)

Also, as of today, I am 18 and 5/6!

Just Made This Noise: "HAHHH!" This is so snort-worthy.

I hope, and I am pretty sure based on past experience, that Henry will love this, because I can't afford to buy him a real birthday present.

Only 495 days until "The Dark Knight Rises" (yay!) 

Woohoo for Christopher Nolan's directing prowess!!!

Can't believe I don't have my camera at a time like this

Can't take quality pics of my hair, can't document this genius idea that I have...
I know exactly where my camera is. It's at home, resting peacefully in the coat that I also forgot at home five weeks ago. Bummer. Irrelevant, because you know what else is at home?

This man. This man is at home.

This man is my fasha.
You'd think I'd be super attractive with genes like this.

Now. Look at this man.

This is Harrison Ford and some random little girl from a movie called
"Regarding Henry" which is my brother's name, so that's funny.

Now look back at my father:

Using a different picture is purely for my own blinkin' benefit.
Daddio's face is slimmer now.

Now look back at Harrison Ford. Please connect this syntax with that of the Old Spice commercial.

If you have not seen the commercial, rename your house's roof to "a rock" because you most certainly live under one.

Here.

And here's the Seasame Street version, if you REALLY want to expose yourself to culture.

So. Now that you've been exposed, imagine that anyone made one of these. With that guy up there, it would be really different because he is really dry, and though he is a very primary source of comedic things for me, he has a very serious tone to himself, so the commercial would be REALLY different. It would be really funny. That's the idea.

It'd be all, look at my dad, look at Harrison Ford, look back at my dad, now, my dad doesn't REALLY look like Harrison Ford, but if you squint, which YOU could do with the help of Old Spice SOAP IN YOUR EYES! Look down, look up, look-

Uhhh...

Okay. I've got nothing after that. But still. Hilarious, right?

Also, look at this picture, which if I had been able to use legally, then I totally would have because if my dad is Harrison (because he looks like him and has a similar demeanor) then that makes me the rain-boot-wearing, TV production director-wannabe (while I am both of those things!!!) of Rachel McAdams (my ultimate girl crush! She's so boootiful!!!) So these are all nice things.

I'm so vain, you probably think-

It's almost like this blog is about me. Which it is. Whoa.
Mind blown.

What makes this one vain is that my opinions here are directly about me. And more specifically, my hair, and my ridiculous decision to cut it all off. Goodbye hair! Goodbye goddess like tresses! Of course, I didn't actually ever do anything with my hair when I had it, so now when it gets long again, the idea is I will have trained myself to mess with it. Because now, in order to do ANYTHING with my hair, it is an ordeal. A very frustrating ordeal. But on the plus side, it always looks cute (well, I don't know that yet, it has been like this for 26 hours.)

Anyway, today I tried to braid it.

The result: an incredibly blurry picture taken with my webcam. Who's the man? I'm female, but I'M THE MAN!

I've only recently been semi-successful with french braiding, which was necessary because there is barely any ends to put in pigtails, let alone plait. So. That's interesting. It looks cute in sepia, I think.

I was watching too many videos of Zooey D. and Regina Specktor which reminded me of Julia Roberts and Cate Blanchett and Walk the Line Reese Witherspoon and and Kate Winslet and Audrey Hepburn, all of these beautiful ladies with their long red/brunette hair. Which was a bad idea- I felt like a dunce. It's not like I intend to be a copycat, that's just how I am. And it's really hard when you hair is a foot shorter than it's supposed to be.

So with that, I have decided that it is in my copycat-thriving-self's best interest if I dyed my hair blonde for a while, so that I can copy my short-haired folk like Marilyn and Rachel McAdams and Meg Ryan (from before she went nuts with the botox and lip plumpers) and Pleasantville/Overnight Delivery's Reese Witherspoon and Renee Zwell-whatever's Roxie Hart and I feel like there are more people for both things, but I don't remember who they are right now, and honestly probably never will. 

(I will go back brown for Marion Cotilliard and Audrey Tatou, but it has to get a little longer for them. Plus they're French, so I think that they are used to the delay anyway. I wonder how annoying that must be to get all of this media so much later?)

So that's really exciting, the blonde thing. I'm excited. Plus if I over bleach, I can just cut more hair off, get it as short as it is going to get for---forever.

Note how I got my good side in the above picture. I have known about my bad side ever since I discovered this HUGE freckle thing during my childhood.

I know what you're thinking. It doesn't look that big. But you have to imagine what it was like when my head was considerably smaller, because it didn't stretch or anything. What? It DIDN'T! IT WAS HUGE! 

My single-digit self might've said it was about half the height of her ear. That may be accurate. 

So. Fun stuff.

I intend to post stuff with SOME essence of value or interest, I just didn't want to forget about my frustrations, the internal struggle. Hair is DEEP stuff, man.

Stuff stuff stuff. I said that a lot. Now I've said it more. Stuff. Does that word NOT make you want some Oreos? Double-stuf?

like, like like?

Something that I noticed, beginning around the late years of middle school, was that people were getting really loose with their use of "love." Friends used it as a farewell, while I was in the process of fitting in the "Love you, Dad," after the "okay, bye," and the hang-up. But I got used to it. And I think I like it. I think it's still a nice thing to be floating around in the air, for people to hear about themselves and the people they have enjoyed talking with.

However, this increased usage has done something to my inner dictionary. I don't trust this word anymore, I mean, it's a nice word and all... but, you know how when you've been lazy or something your mom will say stuff like "I love you, but I don't like you right now." It puts a different spin on things.

Love has always meant, but is now reduced to only meaning, "I honestly want you to be happy. I don't wish your death."
NOW, let's apply some Newton up in here, for every action-there must be an equal and opposite reaction, and I am now I big fan of the word "like" (not when it comes to Facebook statuses, or things, mind you, these definitions are only for living beings.)

Where love means, "I don't want you to die yet," like means "I don't want you to leave me."
Where love means, "I hope you can find happiness," like means, "Let ME be the one to make you happy."
You can quote me on that if you want.

But, eh. Try not to take me too seriously. I have no worldly experience.

diamonds aren't my best friend, not even a little, but...

Anyway, I knew Monroe was smart, I'd heard it somewhere, and I chose to believe it because it was a nice thing to say. And, I just didn't see much about it- the only thing I'd heard her believing in, through a quote, was high heels and being fabulous and things like that. Cool, I can get behind that, I'm a girl deep down, but I didn't want to buy her posters.

This quote made me want to buy a poster:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Then I saw this one which is even smarter:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 

I'll probably get a Warhol one, or hipster-one with a Helvetica quote over it. Maybe I will find a rip off of this that isn't four thousand dollars: http://www.andrewward.com/Elliott_Erwitt_Photo_MARILYN_MONROE_NEW_YORK_CITY_1956.htm

Or I could just settle for the classic, despite the fact that I didn't think the movie was all that spectacular, 

The Seven Year Itch, 

Oh, gosh, she said this too: 

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
  

And she talked about something that I believe people can see easier-you- without makeup; if you like makeup, whatever, I think you're beautiful without it, but I can see how you enjoy it, just like I like clothes and decoration and glitter, it's whatever, 

ANYWAY: "Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world." 

And there are all of these others, wonderful things that she said, that aren't too proud of themselves or too humble, and they're just so true to her self or at least what I know of her (this so strips away any misconception of falsehood I might've had,) and all of these quotes would make this two miles long.

Thumper Knows This Rule

I sure am developing a respect for Marilyn Monroe. Don't get me wrong, I didn't dislike her before, I just didn't understand why people loved her so much. I know people love her because she's hot. Except for some people apparently, when I was looking for the exact quote I wanted to put here, I saw all of these famous haters that said she wasn't all that and that she hadn't any talent on quoteland that Elizabeth Hurley said "I'd kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe." First of all, Marilyn was a size 12 in the fifties. I'm a size 12 now, which would be considerably bigger, and I don't have nearly as a good of a figure which leads me conclude that Hurley is just a big ol' jealous bag of barf.

Anyway, some director named Otto said she was a vacuum with nipples. First of all, that's not possible. Vacuums are ugly. Otto is ugly.

Rule: I don't care if you dislike someone, but don't dislike them out loud. It breeds hate, because then your enemy is free to respond, and I have to hate on the haters, and it's just awful. So just shut up. Just respect the beauty in every person, and just be nice, and then we would live in a beautiful planet which would have the potential to eliminate the need for wars and money and all of the things that make us sad. We could just all get along. I'm not going to push too hard for that, that's something they can work on after I die, because I kind of enjoy the passion of being a pacifist and my kindness wouldn't make anyone's day if it wasn't as rare as it is. That could be annoying. To be continued.


Anywhoser, I was getting sort of cold on the mid-20th century which I was so fond of, especially Audrey Hepburn. I'm just such a hipster (except not, because I hear that real hipsters would never admit such a thing) that I am magnetically repulsed by popularity, and Audrey is getting mainstream. Which reminds me:
I was thinking that if she were here today, with all of the screen print t-shirts, and general lack of class, she would be appalled to see her face on a shirt, in the costume of a role that she didn't feel was very "her" and then people point at it and say, "oh, Katherine Hepburn" (and I was all, you're an old person, why don't you know who this is?) and for the people who get it right, they say Audrey, but they don't say Holly GoLightly, which is who is really on the shirt, but it all comes down to the idea: I don't think Audrey would want us to wear her face on a shirt, if we're going to call it Audrey and not Holly, I think she would want the focus to be on people we know, people we love, ourselves. She wouldn't wear a shirt with anyone's face on it, and I think she would be most honored by us being ourselves, and respecting her.
And if that doesn't prove how much I like Audrey still, then I'll say it, I still LIKE Audrey, but the passion is gone. Our fire isn't dead, as Jack would say, but it's sure not going to cook this hot dog tonight unless we do something, as I would say.

Then I stumbled upon Marilyn Monroe. Of course I knew of her before, and I was thinking about buying this swim suit that I think people would correlate with her. I do love the era. But this picture sums that up:
http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Marilyn-Monroe-Posters_i847695_.htm

It's a Marilyn disguised as Audrey! Ohmygod! It's Audlyn!

the URL: if a.k.a is "acka," then f.y.i. shall be "fuh-why"

So, fuh-why, or for your information, the URL is cowboogers.blogspot.com because the blog itself was originally called "And That's How They Named Hamburgers..." but that name was too long. I didn't realize it was too long until the URL was already decided, and botta-bing-batta-boom, there you have it. It's catchy though. I like it's seeming randomness.