my brain is secretly drug addled

This is evidenced by the dream I had last night. Let me give you the three bullet points that any writing instructor would be forced to give full marks in the support section of the rubric. They are wary of my thesis. I am too.

• There were two brothers, both played by Nicholas Cage. We got in a fight. I think I was a man in my dream, because I don't think the brothers Cage would've felt comfortable beating up a girl. They won, I think.
• They lived separately- one in North Dakota and one in South Dakota. I think the terrain of the states was inspired by a Russian felting tutorial I read before I went to sleep because it was very clean and soft with dramatic and artificial pot holes. That's where the treasure was hiding. They were also tucked away where Oregon is supposed to be, underneath Washington state. My destination was Washington, but the brothers Cage stopped me. This journey was a walk up north through all these states.
• When I woke up, I was convinced that I was going to be late for work.

Dear Cookie (a blog post written to the blog itself)

Dear Cookie,

It's been good. But we've grown distant. You know that. I need some time to appreciate you as you once were again. Really, I just want to be able to finish a thought. Then maybe I'll post one of the twenty three drafts I have on here. For right now, though, I will just post fragments on Tumblr.

http://nonamecait.tumblr.com/

I hope you don't feel betrayed, Cookie. You're the real deal. THIS ISN'T GOODBYE FOREVER. Just for now. I think my next post for you will be an actual cookie recipie, okay? Are you so excited?

Me too.

Proverbs

There are many ways to stop a ship- an iceberg does not an anchor make.

Independence Day Dreams

INTERNET, let me tell you about my dream!

I totally booted up my comptron several hours ago to type all this out, but I got distracted. Because television, as some like to say.

Anywhoser. So, if I remember correctly, which even if I don't, it doesn't really matter, this is how I went down. If it was at all similar to anything, maybe it was Memento style or like some sort of low-prestige, vastly-entertaining crime drama like Castle.

I like reverse engineered it (in my dream) from these pictures of someone at their 4th of July party. I remember looking at a computer screen, wondering why one picture had a white background while all the others had a black background, and they were very high quality pictures and were they allowed to take in-the-moment quality photos like that or was it secretly a photo shoot for the sole purpose of filling in picture frames. Maybe one day these smiling party-goers would have "$4.97" and "8 x 11" stamped on their stomachs, to one day live in someone's home for several months before they remembered to put in a picture of someone they actually know. They didn't rush, because these party people really did look they were having a good time. Maybe I do know them.

It's too late in the day, so I don't remember much else, but the party was in this corn field that grew dinosaur eggs instead of corn (which is totally normal) and everybody camped there and I want to go camping and just sort of lay there in the cold, smell the fire, look at the stars and think about infinity, and maybe a corn field would be just as good as a place as a bear-populated forest. Maybe. Forest not Forrest, Cait. Forrest is a person.

And when everybody woke up, there were these authority figures that SLID in in these green human-sized bird cages, with white Christmas lights twined up all around them, and if I was to do interior decorating in my own home, I should hope that it has stuff that cool.

Maybe this wasn't a dream. Maybe I just woke up and implanted a dream so that I'd have something to think about today to distract me from the "Kroll Bond Rating Agency".

Meditation

Alright, this is going to start out differently than I thought. Because... lots of things. Anyway, "meditation" reminds me of Owen Wilson because "meditation" is only a small hop away from "mediation" which is an interesting business approach, paying anyone for consulting services because you're mad but not mad enough to involve more official people which is the main reason I watched that one show with Sarah Shum-aloom-ading-dong (I straight-up cannot remember what her name is, and I could just imdb.com it but I'm on a roll here!)), and that's also what redhead lady... AMY ADAMS, that's her name, does in that one movie where she's a princess and whats-his-face is a divorce lawyer and she ruins everything by getting the couple back together, and that's also what Owen Wilson and Vince whats-his-face do in that Wedding Crashers movie. And also, Isla Fischer is in that movie, and I bet she meditates. Probably.

Hollywood types supposedly like yoga. I don't think I quite see the appeal, but that might just be my blanket disapproval of exercise. Maybe if exercise involved more movie watching, then I could get into that. Maybe I'll start the next season of Alias today and do some lunges. I saw this thing on the internet that said lunges are good for your butt. (Oooh, "lunges" just looks like I'm really having a hard time spelling "lungs"... interesting. It's spelled fairly simply, but it does NOT look like it sounds.)

On second thought- Nah.

So I came here to mark this occasion, and it's already over, because in the process of wanting to mark it, I stopped it. I realized that I wasn't thinking about anything. My mind "was" a blank. My mind is never a blank. I'm not saying it's all about profound spurts of wisdom, rolling around in my skull 27/7, but I'm usually at least thinking about my hair. I'm pretty shallow when it comes to hair, really. Which is so annoying. Then I think about how annoying that is. Then that inevitably reminds me of something else- AND OH MY GOD- I just realized that "remind" has "mind" in it, and there's like little Spongebobs running around the office in your brain, looking through all the filing cabinets, going through the mind process and re-doing it, thinking about it for the second time. WHOA.

So, with my mind blank, like it WAS, and may never be again, I might have been able to meditate. Like, legs crossed applesauce, finding nirvana, floating a few inches off the floor.

I don't think I'm missing out, really.